Sorry, three's my limit.
It wasn't enough that someone backed the car into the neighbor's car and activated the $500 deductable.
It wasn't enough that, not 15 minutes later, the very same car got in a front-end wreck and was towed away (not our fault - everyone OK.)
No, it was that, while the details of the front-ender were being explained to me on the phone, this happened...
...and so went the next four hours of my life.
"Up" apparently not being an option for Shaggy the Rat here, I worked on keeping the doors closed and devising a plan.
Things got pretty desperate, and suffice it to say I got to the point where I would rather have a round from my .22 Ruger ricochet off the inside of the firebox and catch me in the head, forcing me to eat through a tube for the rest of my life, than risk setting this thing loose in the house. Good Lord, what a mess that would be.
I'll spare you the excruciatingly ugly details of how it all went down, but we are rid of him, and the calamity that did ensue drove me to go out today and purchase a new Daisy Powerline 008 dual-ammo semi-automatic air pistol, capable of firing a round at up to 480 feet per second (with the wind in your favor) so that I would never again have to visit such dark (and ineffective) places in my mind.
If a new visitor should find his way down the chimney during one of those brief periods where the chimney cap is open and no fire is lit, I believe I have a plan.
This entry was not hand-written because I refuse to print a picture of this furry bastard.
