Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Asshole

If, while totally minding your own business just driving along, you ever get completely cut off in traffic and someone displays the most lengthy of their digits to you, don't make the mistake of following them into the parking lot where they turn off. Here's why:

1) Why are you doing this?
You're upset a little, huh? Yes it was the car in front of you that was the hold up. Yes that move did have just the right combo of asininity/defiance, but...

2) What are you going to say?
Better have a plan. Might be best to just leave it at "Pretty confused out there, aren't you? Take it easy on the middle finger, sweetheart" and then drive off. You could swear him up and down, yes, but then you'd better be prepared for something.

3) Where's it going to go?
In the grand scheme of things, would it be really smart for it to lead to something? I mean, even if you did manage to sucker-punch him right in the diaphragm and you just drive off while he sits there and enjoys a couple of minutes without breath, courtesy of you, you've got a license plate on that car of yours, and guess what? The parking lot he pulled into happens to be that of the DMV. Not so good.

4) You don't want to hear the explanation.
I suppose the shit-eating grin you got when he got out of his car and saw you there is about all you're really going to get out of it. Better be happy with that, because all you're going to get beyond it is pretzel logic that, well, it turns out I'm actually the asshole.

Hey - how about that?

1 comment:

Nato said...

And while we're on the subject, why don't cars have un-horns to, y'know, make un-beeps (as in, to un-do the beep)?

You know what I mean: You accidentally hit your horn (in your case, probably from playing a drum fill), and the guy in front of you thinks you're angry with him. Wouldn't it be nice to have some kind of second horn that everyone knew meant, "Oops, sorry, didn't mean to beep, my bad, un-do, rewind"?