Poverty Scars

I realized some time ago that people get themselves into all sorts of danger in the name of saving themselves a buck, or because they don't have the buck to do it any other way.  I think of the number of times I worked on my own car, and the scars on my hands that are there to forever remind me I didn't have quite the right tool, or I really needed to use a lift, or just because something was old and rusty and wouldn't budge and had to give it everything I had.  One false slip and you smash your hand or skin a knuckle or something far worse happens.  Maybe the jack collapses and you're crushed or maybe it just fucks your knee up for life.  All because you needed to fix your junk car that one time.

Of course it doesn't have to be cars.  It can be any of a thousand other things gone wrong while working on something you couldn't afford to replace or have someone else fix for you.

And every time I'm in a situation like this I think "these are poor people problems."  Wealthy folks must, on average, live longer, healthier lives just based on the fact that they don't put themselves in these types of situations.

Then I realized there are rich people problems, too.  They may not crash a car, but they crash a plane.  They die trying to outrun paparazzi.  They get kidnapped and brainwashed.  They eat the expensive sushi that was cut the wrong way.  They get in ski accidents.

That's what I tell myself anyway.  

A Bad Haircut Is Universal

We have a new criticism called “punching down” now, which sounds a little like the old “pick on someone your own size” but with the added twist of punching.

There’s another phrase called “good natured ribbing” and a viewpoint that not every criticism is a punch, but in the wake of hate crimes against people of diverse gender and sexuality, these things are lost.  True friends gently tease each other about most anything. You can sarcastically say “nice haircut” to a friend who knows you don’t mean it, but if that friend is one that is redefining gender and/or sexuality norms, your sarcasm comes off waaaaay differently.  Even if it’s a bad haircut, which is something that happens to all of us.

Poking a little fun at a friend has always been a way to show that your friendship is strong enough to withstand it.  It’s a subtle way of letting the other person know you see everything about them and still remain friends.  “Y’know - I don’t know why I still choose to hang out with you even when you choose to wear that shirt.”

If a true friend of yours has transitioned as mentioned above, that kind of kidding around comes off as hate speech.  That sucks a little because no one is immune from horrible fashion choices and everyone does things that are worthy of a playful jab. It isn't always an affront to your movement.  It can be a sign of complete acceptance as an equal.

I'll let you know if I ever hear so much as one example.