Monday, June 29, 2015

Make a Proud Distinction

Let me make SUPER CLEAR right at the top that I'm not against gay marriage.  I AM NOT.  Seems totally fair to me, and a pretty obvious what-were-we-ever-thinking moment.  I would kind of appreciate it if you would come back and read this paragraph again in a minute, because...

I do have one problem with it, and a couple of pretty simple reasons why.

My problem is I wish gay marriage had a different name.  Yes, a gay marriage should undoubtedly be viewed as equal, but equal doesn't mean identical.  It really isn't entirely honest to say that they are exactly the same thing.  No - that's not a subtle way of trying to say I think one is better than the other.  What I'm saying is that each type of marriage has a distinction worthy of note in its own proud title.

These days, finding out someone is married isn't quite as informative as it once was.  Our standard response is soon to become, "Oh. Do you have a husband or wife?"  So although we've gained something here, we've also kind of lost something.  And it's too bad because I really think it's a unique opportunity to make a proud distinction.

Saturday, June 27, 2015


No ride.  This is hard news for me to accept.  All signs pointed to these guys being criminal masterminds, but I guess I overestimated the value of that.  Maybe a criminal mind can only be so smart.  It is broken after all.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Where Were You?

Regular and fully committed readers will remember that I decided to go check out a local prison several years ago.  Some kind of horrible fascination drove me to do it, I guess.  That trip... actually, writing about that trip, served to completely satisfy my curiosity.  It was at the end where I wrote, "All right. Prison is real. (What next?)" where I had a well-what-the-hell-were-you-expecting kind of moment and I haven't thought nary a whit about it since.

But then a couple of guys broke out.  And they didn't just break out; they masterminded the only escape in the 170-year history of the maximum security prison.  Pretty incredible feat.  Getting access to power tools, manipulating guards and other employees, the planning, the execution, the decoys left in their cells, the five-hour head start they got before anyone knew they were missing...  Just amazing.

Deplorable as these criminals may be, you have to have some respect for their ability to manipulate people to the point where they were able to get everything they needed to bust out of a maximum security facility.  Again - AMAZING.

Now, to think that after all this, they didn't have a solid getaway driver lined up?  Ah... I don't think so.  Three weeks later these guys are still schlepping around the Adirondacks because their ride flaked?  They had every detail worked out, even to the point that they knew the manhole out on the street would be padlocked and they came prepared to cut it, but then they didn't have a solid connection on the outside who could drive them to Mexico?  I really can't believe that's true.  It's a prrrrrrretty important detail and would be quite an oversight... and it frankly ruins the whole thing for me.

These guys outsmarted a LOT of people.  They used a literally unprecedented level of cunning to derail an entire prison security mechanism and get over (okay, under) that wall.  If you're going to succeed that far, you owe it to the GP to a) make it the rest of the way, and b) disappear forever.

TELL me you didn't just get outside and go, "Well... where is she?"

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

If You See Something - Don't Say Anything

The guy in the car next to me texting with his phone in his lap.  The girl who runs the stop sign and then parks in the fire lane.  The able-bodied girl who parks in the handicap space and goes inside for 15 minutes.

If I said something every time I saw people doing these things, I'd be doing it all day.  And worse, I'd have to hear their perverse explanations. That's a pretty lousy time.  If I don't say anything - still a lousy time.  It's just watching people lower the bar every damned day, and that knocks the wind out of you a little bit.

Most old folk don't want to give up their licenses, but I welcome the day that they tell me I'm too old to drive.

Sunday, June 07, 2015


Being the only one who is right is the same thing as being wrong.

Friday, June 05, 2015

Please Understand...

Just because I don't want a dog doesn't mean I want to kill all the dogs.

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

Look - I Just Sincerely Don't Care

Can I just tell you?  I haven't cared one whit about Bruce Jenner since 1976 and THAT HASN'T CHANGED.

Anything you read into that is on you.