Friday, September 26, 2008

The State of Using Your Head

"He lives in Washington state."

Any of these jump out as kind of a little odd/awkward to you?

The state of Delaware.
The state of Nebraska.
The state of New Mexico.
The state of California.
Washington state.

If not, how 'bout at least one of these?

California state.
Nebraska state.
Delaware state.
New Mexico state.
The state of Washington.

So thrown for a loop based on the fact that the state shares its name with our nation's capitol, people suddenly forget how to form a sentence. Don't let it happen to you.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Fashion Show (continued)

I'm not claiming to be any kind of authority on fashion.

I am simply criticizing the choices of other people.

In any case, let's hope this one doesn't catch on.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Coke Adds Life*

*Warning: Use of certain Coca-Cola products may remove life

Let's say you were about to splash into a delicious and oh-so-fun-to-drink 8oz. glass bottle of soda. You'd pop the top and enjoy the whoosh of rapidly escaping CO2, then tip it back and feel the refreshment. You could be the type that savors the experience, or you could be the type that chugs away, pretty much just looking to get it done. Either way, you're enjoying one of life's simple pleasu... what the fuck is THIS!?

Is that a shard of fucking glass!?

Hell's YEAH it is. In the bottom of your bottle. And that ain't from your bottle, either. Look at that red paint. That's from another bottle altogether. If this bottle had a piece like that missing, it wouldn't hold any soda. What the hell is going on here!? Were you about to drink a hunk of glass!?

Holy shit! You can't be selling bottles of pop with fucking glass in them. Don't they check these things? How did that happen? How many bottles is this shit in?

And other questions. The real question is, what do you do? Specifically, what do you do, and how do you go about doing it? After you say, "I'd sue!" and realize you have no way to prove anything and that you have suffered no real damages, what now?

The FDA, The Consumer Product Safety Commission, OSHA, Corporate Headquarters, Local Headquarters, attorneys... little satisfaction will follow, my friend.

Oh, but we wash all the bottles really really good before we fill 'em, okay? Seeya!

Friday, September 12, 2008


Doesn't matter what you do for a living, you wouldn't be doing it now if somebody hadn't built a place for you to do it.

I'm not officially "in the trades" or anything even close. Sometimes I get a call from someone who is and, feeling indebted, I oblige with a few days help. Everyone in this country should have to spend a week working in construction. It might cut down on some of the complaining, or maybe provide a much needed dose of perspective for any male who spends more than three minutes in front of a mirror every morning.

If you're bummed because traffic was tough this morning or because Jeff from accounting is really up your ass about submitting expense reports on the proper colored stationary, or because you have a client pushing an aggressive deadline, try going to work without heat for a month. Climb up a scaffold and hammer some roof flashing in the rain. See if you can't walk up and down the same set of stairs all day with a board on your shoulder while you're crouching under the painter's rig. Try stuffing insulation all day. See how long you can go without cutting your thumb off.

Don't know what's up with my boots. They aren't that old, but the rubber seems to be disintegrating. As I walk around the job site, screws and nails and such seem to just sink into the sole. I got them cheap enough. That might have something to do with it.

There's a rock in there that looks like it's cut its way across the sole, forming a bit of a canyon, and the toe just plain quit. It isn't like stuff gets wedged in between the treads. It just sinks in, and when I finally pull something out of there, it's all gooey. It's really time to toss these things.

But enough about fashion. It's time for the weekly safety meeting. I couldn't decide whether to call this photo "Safety Meeting" or "How To Get Punched In The Face"

In any case, if you own a Bosch 1191 Hammer drill, you should take it back.

With the safety meeting safely adjourned, I headed back to my rounds.

Installing locksets. After about 50 or so, you really start to tire of it. I, probably like most people, am not a fan of the repetitive task. Reminding yourself that it's a favor only seems to help in small spurts. Let's just say I no longer feel indebted in any way whatsoever.

I did grab a few shots of the place though, and I'll sum it up like this -
They want damn near 3/4 of a million dollars for one of these places. The square footage is small and the deck is small and usable only about half the year, but the view is quite pleasant.

Some of the units don't exactly offer what you'd consider a 360° view.

...unless your a fan of the gravel roof. And there was one other thing... uh... Wait, what was it that...

Oh, I remember

It sits directly in the flight path of an international airport which, depending on the wind, means you get to experience full throttle takeoff or short final approach, which means not only do you get jets overhead, you get them about 150ft. overhead.

Yeah. That was it.

Today featured a C-130 Hercules performing touch-and-go's for most of the afternoon.

So save your pennies and you could live here, too.

Oh, and I don't care if you work on a porno set, you will not hear the "f" word more in a lifetime at your job than you will at this job site by noon. But hey, like the drywall guys are always saying, sic transit gloria fuckin' mundi.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Hang Up And Bike

Well, if you're going to block traffic, at least use your cell phone while you do it.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Everything SUCKS!

A grassroots effort.