A Bad Haircut Is Universal

We have a new criticism called “punching down” now, which sounds a little like the old “pick on someone your own size” but with the added twist of punching.

There’s another phrase called “good natured ribbing” and a viewpoint that not every criticism is a punch, but in the wake of hate crimes against people of diverse gender and sexuality, these things are lost.  True friends gently tease each other about most anything. You can sarcastically say “nice haircut” to a friend who knows you don’t mean it, but if that friend is one that is redefining gender and/or sexuality norms, your sarcasm comes off waaaaay differently.  Even if it’s a bad haircut, which is something that happens to all of us.

Poking a little fun at a friend has always been a way to show that your friendship is strong enough to withstand it.  It’s a subtle way of letting the other person know you see everything about them and still remain friends.  “Y’know - I don’t know why I still choose to hang out with you even when you choose to wear that shirt.”

If a true friend of yours has transitioned as mentioned above, that kind of kidding around comes off as hate speech.  That sucks a little because no one is immune from horrible fashion choices and everyone does things that are worthy of a playful jab. It isn't always an affront to your movement.  It can be a sign of complete acceptance as an equal.

I'll let you know if I ever hear so much as one example.