Sunday, November 23, 2008

Car Wash

Now, more complicated!

Today, and for the first time ever, I went for the $15 wash. I don't know what came over me. I rarely go through a car wash, but this time I decided to spring the extra $5 and get the full treatment. I figured, for that price, it must come with a "happy ending" anyway, so I peeled off a twenty and asked for the #4.

When the guy (note: "guy" - there goes the Happy Ending idea already) comes back, he hands me a fiver and a receipt stapled to a bright yellow card.

Guess what? The "#4" includes all kinds of Simonizing action, and the folks at Simoniz are offering a $3 rebate! Yeah!

My first thought was that the folks at Simoniz were over-thinking it. People mostly hate rebates, don't they? It's a pain in the ass followed by a long wait, then a trip to the bank, where you will endure the slight indignity of presenting the teller with a check for three dollars.

I thought it was just so looney that I had to fill it out and send it in. People asked what I was doing, and I told them with great enthusiasm about how, just by filling out this simple form and including a copy of your reciept (from a qualifying car wash facility) then getting a stamp and envelope, Simoniz would send you back $3 on your car wash purchase.

I encountered many of the usual retorts:

"Hey - I'll take it!"
"Hey - It's better than a poke in the ear with a sharp stick!"
"Hey - That's $3 more than you had!"

Caught in this classic Bob Newhart Moment of infuriating optimism, my first reaction was to say, "If three bucks means that much to you, you shouldn't be blowing your money on a car wash!", but instead I just reminded the folks that I was already out 42 cents for the stamp, plus the cost of the envelope, and the cost of gas for the trip to the bank when I do get the check.

So we're not out of the woods yet.

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