Wednesday, January 10, 2007

How To Win The Lottery

First, pick six numbers that match the numbers to be drawn.

Once you've completed that step, you've got some decisions to make. There are a few things you ought to know.

Advice #1) Take the annuity.
Did you just win $50 million? Awesome! Hey, did you just give away $25 million? What!? Don't know 'bout you, but I've never even been near $25 million, let alone had the opportunity to just give it away like that. Must be awfully nice.

Advice #2) Take the cash.
When they say "Estimated Jackpot", that's not a joke, and here's the non-punchline; They don't actually have the money. They have about half. So where's the other $25mil?

According to the lottery commission, "It's coming. I mean, I can get it."

Advice #3) Seriously - take the annuity.
Seriously, you want this. See, the lottery commission gives you your first installment and then invests the rest for you. They'll take the $25 million and turn it into $50 million if you don't mind giving them 20 years to do so. Also sweet is that winnings held by the lottery commision are not taxed. They earn about 9% annualy for you, and best of all, your annuity is guaranteed.

No tax + 9% annual ROI + Guarantee = Awesome.

You could take the lump sum and try your own hand at it, but you'll really need to stay on top of the market to do much better, and you'll pay more tax upfront because you'll be in a higher bracket, and , did I mention the guarantee? You could potentially blow it on your own.

OK. Now that you have won the lottery, you should definitely buy something. I'd recommend staying away from porcelin dogs and various other "collectibles". Collectibles can be a good investment, but if history serves as any sort of indication, most lottery winners don't seem to have a real grasp of what an actual collectible might be. If you find yourself being drawn to items such as ceramic house pets, consider taking up a hobby. Photography is one idea, and you can always use a new lens or make a frame for a nice shot you took. And, a framed original photo makes a nice gift anytime.

Every time you think about buying the ceramic dalmation, bring the equivalent amount of cash to a local charitable organization.

If this has no effect on you and you find the draw of the fake dog is too powerful, just take the lump sum and nevermind.


Nato said...

Every "This is NOT a blog" post is like winning the lottery...of funny.

owner said...

...and sometimes it's a really, really small jackpot.