Deer Hunter

Here's a fact of life; if you buy a gun, you're going to want to shoot it. If you hunt, you may not see anything the whole time you're out there, but you wait all year for this, you bought all this outdoor gear, you've been sitting out there all day, and hell if you ain't gonna fire off a round or two.

"I guess I'll shoot that tractor way out there. That'll make a noise." And boom, off goes the bullet. Except there was a guy in there and now you shot him. And now you're in the paper. And now you're going to jail.

That's deer season, and something like this happens every year. An anxious hunter sees something, he shoots, someone dies. It always makes the paper and someone always goes to jail.

Last night, I saw a delightful high school play with a particular scene in which some of the kids dressed as hunters with antlers on their heads and orange vests with bullseyes painted on the back. They had all died and just arrived in heaven, trying to sort out just what happened. Of course, they all shot each other and the parents and teachers who wrote the play made a whole slew of really fucking hysterical jokes about hunting accidents. The audience howled with laughter. Easily the highlight of the evening.



Though this raises many questions, I have to wonder, why are you just hanging out in your tractor in the middle of deer season?