Drugs Are Cool

...and stealing shit to buy drugs is also cool.

Some kids like it so much, they'll try to bust into your house.

They may crack your door with a swift kick.
[PHOTO DELETED BY IRATE OWNER]

The swift kick might have enough force to knock a plate off the wall and break it.
[PHOTO DELETED BY PISSED-OFF OWNER]

They'll take a serious whack at the door handle to get it to break.
[PHOTO DELETED BECAUSE OWNER'S ASS IS FROSTED]

They will be scumbags. They'll be ill-informed, overconfident, and very eager to brag to their friends 'bout how easy it was to do in broad daylight.

They'll also park the getaway car right there on the street, leave the algebra books in the backseat (very low miles on those) and come a little too close to an alert and suspicious mailman who knows how to take down a plate number.

They won't get in - least not at my house anyway. My neighbor up the street would not be so lucky. But in the interest of providing a public service, here's what to do with three teen fuckups:

The young men will be carted off to the rural, northeastern Connecticut town of Ashford. For 12 weeks, they will serve as volunteers at The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp and learn a great deal of humility in the process.

Hey, this could be worse. It could be algebra.

The idea will never, ever fly, but it is awesome. Do I need to run for President?