Thursday, December 07, 2006


Dude, just order a freaking sandwich already! Christ!

You can stare at the menu all goddamn day - it's just sandwiches! Pick one! It's not like you're deciding between sea bass or scallops, and are those bay scallops or sea scallops, or maybe calicos...

Ok. I'm sorry. I know your girlfriend isn't helping any. I know she kind of snapped at you once over your mutual indecisiveness, but that's probably because she's hungry. I know I've been standing here a couple of minutes already, and your head hasn't budged.

I can respect that you managed to work it out so, if she's going to talk to you, she's going to have to move herself into your current field of view, and congratulations on that one, but still, are you serious? What could you possibly be thinking that's making this so complicated? Since I'm standing here, too, I'll take a couple of stabs at it:

"Is she ever going to shut up and let me just think for a second?"
"Which one of these sandwiches will kill me?"
"Is there one that will kill me faster?"

Well, your zombie lock-on made her feel uncomfortable to the point where she told me that I could order ahead of you. Watch this:

"Can I help you, sir?"
"Yeah. Tuna, lettuce, and tomato on whole wheat."

Boom. Done. How 'bout that? Something to strive for, maybe.

On my way out, he orders a turkey sub. When asked what size, to his credit, he knew right away it was going to be a small, which comes as no shock. Those large subs are so intimidating.

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