Monday, November 06, 2006

Trip to Dick's

Not a big fan of the Dick's Sporting Goods store, but they were close and had shoes. Found the shoes pretty quickly, but then people started, you know, picking out things. I thought we were done, but other people had different plans.

So I'm standing there being patient, and this dude walks by, gives me the 'ol eye-contact-with-the-customer-like-they-showed-me-in-the-training-video routine and then, in plain view, totally starts checkin' out my wife's ass. He had a real fix on it, too. I mean, I'm standing there, facing him. She's facing me. He looks at me and gives a smirk, and then just gets a lock on the 'ol keyster as he walks by. I told her, "That guy was just totally checking out your ass." And she said, "Really? How's it looking?"

Well whatever. We went off in separate directions and I noticed this guy making a few laps around the whole area, just generally looking like a dick. By "dick" I mean, he looked like he was probably the store manager. He was wearing his civvies, but he asked me if I needed help, so that was my second clue. He made a few more laps of not really doing anything, and I took a photo of him, probably playing pocket-pool.

Damn store manager shouldn't be walking around with his damn hands in his pockets anyway. That's just good math. Well, whatever. If you'd like a picture of my wife's ass, post a comment below and I'll do a whole page on that. It's all-request week.

So I moved on to find the family. On my search, I overhear, "Well, she's not as busty as you, but..." So of course I check that out, too. Some girl had offered to try a shirt on for some guy. I guess whatever girl the guy was shopping for was about the same size as this girl, except for maybe , you know, just around the chest. But that's not a big deal if your trying on a shirt, right? Go ahead, honey.

Seems like he's getting a good look, too. Probably about the best shot I could get without getting punched in the face and creating a scene which ends in me saying, "Um, dear, I need to go outside because I can't be in the store anymore... ever."

But there's obviously something going on about that dudes pants, so I took this shot, too.

Dude is sporting the belt-around-your-ass-cheeks look. And he's serious. And, the shit seems to be working. He got the busty girl to try on a top for him. But seriously, what the hell's the deal with that look and why does it work? Jesus! Maybe I should just move on and take some more pictures.

I wondered off and found Bobble Buck.

"Now even more awesome!" Sweet! Don't know how they did it, but they found a way to actually increase the awesomeness. Man, if I knew where that button was, I'd be pushing it every day.

Then I got really, really sick of the store and everyone in it. They were all funny and goofy for a while, but that all wore off in a hurry and I wanted a burrito.

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